76: 2 Ways You Self-Sabotage

Let’s talk about self-sabotage. It’s the thing that happens whenever you undermine your efforts toward something better. We all struggle with self-sabotage from time to time. Self-sabotage shows up in leadership, in business, in creativity, in relationships, in the journey of having a healthy lifestyle; it shows up in a lot of places, actually. Anytime you set a goal for a positive life change, you set yourself up for possible self-sabotage. But don’t let that scare you! When you are unaware of it, that’s when it is dangerous. This episode is your training ground. We want to help you recognize self-sabotage in two ways – one that is not often talked about, and one that is. Ready? Grab your coffee and let’s go…



2 Ways You Self-Sabotage:

The first way you might be self-sabotaging your goals is by holding on to the holy cows.

What’s a holy cow? Well, it’s like this: in the old testament of the Bible there is a story of Moses and the Israelites. Moses went up on the mountain to talk to God and he was gone longer than the Israelites had planned. So while he was up there, the Israelites asked Moses’ brother, Aaron, to make an idol for them so they could start worshiping that idol instead of God. Aaron completely caved into peer pressure and made the people an idol of a golden cow. And then they bowed down and worshiped the idol. When Moses came back down from the mountain, he was furious about what they had done. But the people insisted that the golden cow was holy and they didn’t want to get rid of it.    

In leadership, and in business, we can sometimes hold onto holy cow type idols that hinder our success. When you refuse to get rid of them, you keep yourself from growing. A holy cow can be a logo, a business name that is confusing to others but you love it, or even certain strategies that you refuse to modify.

QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF: What are your holy cows? And how can you address them and get rid of them?

The second way you might be self-sabotaging your goals is by attaching your identity to your business or your leadership title.

Anytime we attach our identity to our title, our job, our business – we risk self-sabotaging. Your identity is NOT your job! Your identity is NOT your business! It’s a dangerous thing to tie your identity to these things because if and when they change, you are left feeling like you don’t know who you are.

Ways to make sure you don’t self-sabotage by attaching your identity to your job or title: have a hobby, make sure you take time off of work, invest in your personal relationships, define what FUN is for you and schedule time for it! Give yourself permission to pour into the other areas of your life that have nothing to do with your work! Focusing too much on work will only hurt you.

QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF: How has your identity been attached to your work? What will you do to change this?


Learning how to overcome your self-sabotaging mindsets and habits requires that you build the skill of resilience. And RESILIENCE starts with a choice…

The choice to stay angry and bitter when life gets hard, or the choice to no longer be a victim to the circumstances and rise up as the resilient Overcomer you were born to be. You might be taking it one day at a time. You might be sad and a little disappointed to be walking through a familiar season again – or a hard season you never expected. But you are not a victim.

Girl! It’s time to grab hold of your strength and tenacity. The hard parts of your life and career are making you a leader worth following! Find your courage, dear one.

In our Brand NEW Coaching Experience for Women, called SHE CULTIVATES RESILIENCE, we’ll teach you the 7 Leadership Principles that you need to know so you can develop, improve, and refine your ability to adjust and recover readily from adversity and major life changes. It’s time to step into the shoes of a resilient woman! And we’re here to guide you along the way.

In-person spots are limited to 10 women total, and Virtual Spots are limited to 10 women as well. Your registration price includes a hardcover book and a hardcover journal. Learn more and register TODAY at https://www.raymateam.com/resilienceprogram!


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Hey guys, thanks again for listening! Before you go, would you mind doing us a favor? We would love to hear your takeaways, so leave a review and a comment! You might just hear your name in a future episode when you do! Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcast and leave your review. You can binge all past episodes here.

Mandy B. Anderson and Raychel Perman are the Co-Founders of RAYMA Team, LLC. RAYMA Team, LLC is a women owned business that equips women with leadership skills to overcome obstacles in their life and career. They offer group coaching programs, leadership and workplace training, private coaching, speaking services, as well as free resources on their website. Learn how to work with them at https://www.raymateam.com/services.

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