Strength To Be Weak

Strength To Be Weak
Learning That It’s Alright If You’re Not Okay
By: Mandy B. Anderson

My triple venti soy caramel machiatto stared at me from the table as I expressed my feelings to my close friends and business partners.

“Yes, I’m okay – but lately I’ve been really tired and getting over being sick. It’s kind of lonely when Nate is gone and I know I seem like a go-getter, but lately I feel more depressed and end up doing nothing and feeling like no one notices me because they’re all living their lives while I just sit at home tired…”

My friends let me spew my emotions as they looked at me with sincere interest and concern. Over the last few years these two women have watched me overcome cystic fibrosis; they’ve watched me rise above the emotional stress of PTSD from losing my home to a fire; they’ve rejoiced with me as my marriage grew stronger and we paid off $103,000 in debt in 33 months and they’ve supported my dreams and goals as I’ve chosen to live beyond the circumstances that have tried to hold me back. This particular day, they understood the need for me to talk out my emotions and the pain that had been building up since my miscarriage a few months earlier. After several minutes of me sharing my thoughts, Madison looked at me and with piercing eyes said the most freeing words I had heard all week:

“Mandy, you know it’s alright if you’re not okay…right?”

Before I could process what was said I found myself mechanically saying

“Yes, I know. I’m okay really…”

That’s when Raychel piped in with

“It sounds like you’re really not Sweetie.”

Stunned at the reality of what was unfolding before me, I closed my mouth and replayed my words. It was true – I wasn’t okay and I wasn’t allowing myself to receive that fact.

I thanked them for their honesty and gave them permission to point out the truth anytime I might be blinded to it. After all, how else will I grow and overcome things if I don’t even realize they are hindering me? Then I went home and got brutally honest with myself and with God. Oh how the healing tears flowed! By evening I was feeling stronger both mentally and physically. The difference was as obvious as night and day.

It’s so easy to stuff our feelings and emotions in a place where we don’t see them. Human nature is to ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. The problem with doing that is that our bodies still feel the stress even if our minds refuse to let us process it. Emotions can make you sick – and in my case that looked like bronchitis, extreme fatigue, and body aches that were mimicking the start of fibromyalgia. (Read the book “Deadly Emotions” by Dr. Don Colbert for more info on this!)

As I allowed my emotions to surface, and I felt the intensity of them, the following truths about strength and weakness came to mind.

1. It takes Strength to feel your emotions.

As was mentioned earlier, most people will not feel their emotions. The intensity of them becomes fearful and the truth often too much to bear. Crying, anger and sadness are often looked upon as characteristics of the weak. The truth is that feeling your emotions makes you stronger. It helps you heal and process the circumstances in your life. In your moments of weakness, the God of All Mankind can come in and strengthen you (if you let him). Feeling your emotions takes strength.

2. It takes Strength to be vulnerable with yourself and others.

All I know is that when I’m vulnerable with myself and others, the shackles of stress fall off and my boldness returns; my faith returns; my strength grows. For instance, while overcoming cystic fibrosis, allowing myself to be vulnerable helped my body build up it’s immune system and get rid of the bacteria that was keeping me sick. I don’t know how it works exactly, all I know is that it did…and it does. Anytime I’m struggling with a cold or infection, I have to stop and ask myself “what emotions am I trying to hide right now?” As soon as I face them, my body gets stronger and begins to heal faster.

Try it out on yourself – prove me wrong! Chances are you’ll come away stronger too.

3. It takes Strength to admit you are emotionally spent.

Putting on a brave face 24/7 is exhausting! It is! You get stuck in a mind numbing, never ending cycle that wears you down until you are left with hopelessness, fear, and sickness. A brave face might make you look strong to others, but on the inside you are weak and frail. It takes far more strength to admit that you need to release your emotions. It takes strength to rise up and say “enough is enough!”

Maybe you’re in a position of weakness right now and you’ve been denying yourself the ability to not be okay. If so, it’s alright. I give you permission to cry. I give you permission to be angry and feel the sadness and pain so you can release it effectively. If you believe in Jesus Christ, then cry out to him and be honest about your feelings. He loves it when we bear our soul to him (David did it all the time! See the book of Psalms for proof.) Life is a journey, and strength is birthed out of weakness and vulnerability.

It’s alright if you’re not okay.

Mandy B. Anderson dreamed of becoming a professional singer, despite being born with cystic fibrosis (CF), a disease that severely limited the very breath she needed to sing. Overcoming statistics of an early death, a fire that destroyed her and her husband’s home, and the limits of her own mind, Mandy has become a sought after inspirational speaker, coach, author and singer who has written and produced multiple songs. She currently lives in North Dakota with her husband, Nate and their dog, Ajah.

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Tagged as: Be Inspired, Cystic Fibrosis, emotional health, Forgiveness & Health, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, True Wholeness