The following is a real life story. It actually happened. Every. Single. Random. Thought.
Once upon a time two girls named Joy (Mandy) and Sadness (Raychel) arrived at the Kansas City Airport. They were full of hopes and dreams and thoughts of adventure. But, shortly upon arrival they soon lost all control of their day and departed on a 25 hour stay at the airport. They had many thoughts that day…
- “Who get’s up at 3:30 in the morning? It’s not even morning.”
- “I can’t eat anything here!”
- “Where is the Dramamine?”
- “Mandy look…it’s a floating head.”
- “He is making Pinterest way too hard.”
- “This is like prison. We can see the Starbucks but we can’t go to the Starbucks! (If you’ve ever been to the KC airport you know!)”
- “I’m not adulting well,” said Joy. “We need an adultier adult…where are our mothers?” Sadness said.
- “20 people went through the OTHER line before she figured out a flight we could get home on…on we won’t even get home. That’s what we get for living in a small town.”
- “Just to make sure, we are not the kind of people who run through airports trying to get to an impossible connection, right?” asked Sadness. “No. We are the kind of people who walk leisurely holding our coffee.” said Joy. “Oh thank God” said Sadness.
- “It’s OK we can make anything an adventure.”
- “Turkey pepperoni is not a wise choice.”
- “This is my ball of warmth.”
- “Woo hoo! We are leaving!”
- “I wonder how long you can survive on chips?” (12 hours. You’re welcome.)
They finally made it to the Chicago airport. Joy and Sadness would have many more adventures… and lots more to say before their day would end!
- “This is so stupid! Why don’t they take our bags off first and we all stay on the plane until they are done? Then we could all just grab our bags as we go?” asked Sadness “That is such a good idea!” Joy said.
- “This is the most expensive layover ever!”
- “The customer service of this airline sucks.”
- “I had a moment of panic in the bathroom just now when I thought I would have to roll off the toilet to stand up. #Squats.”
- “Will this day ever end?”
- “What if we are the main characters of the Truman show?”
- “This airport needs a nap store.”
- “I’m still not adulting well.”
- “You know what this airport needs? A functioning adult store. Are you having trouble adulting today? Rent a functioning adult for the remainder of your stay!”
- “Seriously, stop speaking death over this day!”
- Text from Miss Maddie: “When are you coming home?” Joy’s reply: “NEVER. We are hunkering down in Chicago and volunteering to be the first tributes for the faction system. I think Sadness needs to be in Amity just because it’s the only place she can probably eat.” Miss Maddie: “Seriously though…Sadness would hate Amity. She would hate all those boring people and head to Dauntless.”
- “You know what this airport also needs? Nannies who watch our bags. Then we don’t have to schlump them all over the airport.”
- “Slow down my tin man legs can’t keep up.” #squats
- “If we made a live video right now they would wonder how we escaped from our padded room.”
- “What did you say about Han Solo?” Sadness asked. “Nothing. I said Obi-won we need you. You are our only hope.” Joy replied.
- “What do you think the meaning of this day is?” asked Joy. “Nothing. There is no meaning. It’s just life,” replied Sadness.
- “No work shall be done this day,” said Joy. “This day sucketh.” said Sadness.
- “What if we can’t come back from the hysteria?”
- “We are going to get arrested for public drunkenness because we can’t stop the hysterical laughter.”
- “Based on how today has gone…do you think we are good life coaches?” asked Joy. “This is not the time for deep thoughts.” replied Sadness.
- “Did we make the wrong choice by not running for that earlier flight?”
- “We are a hot mess right now. The hot is debatable. We are just mess.”
- “What’s the yogurt room?” I bet they need a whole room there is a lot of yogurt in those stands all over.” Sadness said. “It’s a YOGA room. Yoga.” Said Joy. “Oh. That makes more sense.” said Sadness.
- “Oh no. The cots are coming out. That can’t be good.”
- “I think I missed my calling. I should design airports. Could we do it?” asked Sadness. “Sure. For barbies.” Joy replied. “That would work. The functioning adults in the functioning adult store will wear evening gowns. And Skipper and her friends could be in charge of babysitting the bags. Like the babysitters club!” exclaimed Sadness.
- “They say the plane is fixed…but now I have trust issues.”
19.5 hours into the hostage situation, all hope was gone…and they could no longer record any words. There was only weeping and nashing of teeth.
Finally, 25 hours after departing they arrived back home…And so concluded the airport adventures of Joy and Sadness.
~Mandy, and her bestie, Raychel