The audience was full of eager worshipers, and my heart pounded with the beat of the drum as I stood on the stage, microphone in hand. This worship set was going to take every ounce of energy that I had, but I felt pretty ready. I had practiced. I had memorized the words. I had prayed.
Yet…for some reason I was anxious. Ready, but anxious. There was an unsettled nervousness in my heart that I couldn’t put my finger on. Ignoring it, I pressed on and belted out the words with everything in me.
That’s when it happened. I messed up the words to the second verse. While the congregation sang one set of words, I was busy singing a different set and then mumbled them all in a garbled slur when I realized my mistake. Even though I recovered quickly and kept going, I felt embarrassed and completely goofy. The Worship Pastor reassured me that he hadn’t even noticed; but I knew, and I was beating myself up for it.
The enemy knew too; my weakness had been revealed.
I prepared my heart and mind for the second service as best as I could, and determined to do my best no matter what. As I readied my soul for the first song I would be leading, I was bombarded with an attack of lies that yelled across my heart with every beat of the music…
“Who do you think you are to lead worship? You messed up during the last service. OH! You’ve also been coughing like a sick person all morning!”
“Your singing days are over girl. Sit down and shut up.”
“You’re a failure. A has been.”
“Listen to you huffing and puffing while singing and jumping around. You’re out of shape and out of air!”
That’s when I put my game face on.
I recognized those words as the lies they were, and I was done. I whispered a prayer and then gave it all I had.
And this time…I didn’t mess up.
In fact, the power of God was upon me and I could feel the warmth of His presence. My voice was stronger, my determination renewed. In that moment, I was reminded of truth.
This is why I sing…
Because God has not given me a spirit of fear. He has given me a spirit of love and a sound mind to overcome the lies of the enemy.
Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! The words “cystic fibrosis” have no power over me because Jesus conquered it all on the cross.
Because the devil is a liar. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I sing to prove to him that he has lost, and he will lose every time when I keep my eyes on Jesus.
I sing to glorify my Creator and my Savior. He has given me a gift of song and a powerful voice in spite of a life threatening diagnosis like “cystic fibrosis.”
I sing because it’s a miracle that I even can. And I jump around during intense songs – while singing – because when I do it speaks of the healing power of Jesus Christ!
People often ask me if there comes a time when you don’t hear the lies anymore. I would be lying if I said that they go away completely. However, when you practice the art of filling your mind with truth, the ability to decipher the lies when they attack becomes maximized and your recovery time gets shorter and shorter.
So how can you apply this in your own life?
What’s the lesson to be learned here? There’s three actually…
- You have been given a spirit of love and a sound mind – not one of fear.
- You are fully equipped to overcome the lies! The choice is 100% up to you.
- Anytime you feel anxious, let that be a warning to you that the enemy is on the prowl. Turn up the volume on your spiritual headset, rise up with your game face on, and speak the truth over your life and circumstances in that moment!
You might not be a singer, but chances are there are a lot of things you do well – probably even great – that the enemy wants you to believe you are barely mediocre at. When the lies come, let them be the reason you do what you do. In those moments, do it with excellence so the One who created you can be glorified!